“Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough, so they can have grandchildren that are smarter than anybody’s.”—Paul Harvey
Executives of a greeting-card company decided to do something special for Mother’s Day. They set up a table in a federal prison, inviting inmates to send a free card to their Mom. The lines were so long they had to to get more cards.
Due to the success of that event, they decided to do the same thing on Father’s Day, but this time, not one prisoner felt the need to send a card to his Dad. In fact, when asked about it, many had no idea who their fathers were.
Source: Bringing up Boys, James Dobson
A school teacher was correcting papers, and as she looked at one little boy’s work, she was appalled with the results. She said, “I fail to understand how one person could make so many mistakes.”
The boy replied, “But it wasn’t just one person. My dad helped!”
Three young fathers were in the waiting room. The first was told that his wife gave birth to twins. He was amazed and said, “I play ball for the Minnesota Twins.”
Later, the nurse came out and told the second man, “Congratulations, you are the father of triplets.” He said, “That is amazing! I work for 3M.”
The man next to him fainted. When he woke up they asked, “What’s wrong.” He said, “I work for 7Up.”
Children go through four stages. First they call you DaDa. Then they call you Daddy. As they mature they call you Dad. Finally they call you collect.
A little boy walked into the kitchen and told his mother that he discovered he was six feet tall. When she asked how he had determined this, he told her he had used his shoe to measure and that he was six shoes tall. With a loving smile she told him that his shoe was not a foot long. He insisted, “But, Mom, it’s got to be ’cause my foot’s in it!”
Many people believe they are pretty good because they are using a faulty standard.
Submitted by the homiletics class of West Coast Baptist College
Dr. Walter Wilson, ever on the alert to speak to men about their souls and need of the Saviour, asked an attendant at a service station who had filled his car with gas: “How did sin get in Sinclair?” pointing to the lighted sign atop the gas pump. “I do not know, sir, how sin got into Sinclair; but, sir, I have wished many times that I knew how to get sin out of my life!”
Not in unbelief, Voltaire was an infidel of the most pronounced type. He wrote: “I wish I had never been born.”
Not in pleasure, Lord Byron lived a life of pleasure if anyone did. He wrote: “The worm, the canker, and grief are mine alone.”
Not in money, Jay Gould, the American millionaire, had plenty of that. When dying, he said: “I suppose I am the most miserable man on earth.”
Not in position and fame, Lord Beaconsfield enjoyed more than his share of both. He wrote: “Youth is a mistake; manhood a struggle; old age a regret.”
Above the entrance to the concentration camp in Auschwitz, Germany were the words Arbeit Macht Frei. The words mean “Work makes free.” It was a boldfaced lie suggesting that if the prisoners worked hard, they would be given liberty. The promised freedom was a horrifying death.
Many people believe that if they do their best good works they will earn Heaven. This, however, is false. They will learn too late that good works do not earn freedom.
It is Christ’s blood that liberates. He died to give us freedom from the penalty of our sin.
“By profession, I am a soldier, and take pride in that fact, but I am prouder, infinitely prouder, to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; a father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentialities of death; the other embodies creation of life; and while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me, not from the battle, but in the home repeating with him our simple, daily prayer, our Father Who art in Heaven.”—General Douglas MacArthur