When I became a pastor at 24 years old, I didn't feel ready. I knew God had called me, but I felt unprepared for the weight of shepherding a congregation. The church that called me said something that changed my perspective: "We don't need a pastor who's got everything figured out. We just need a pastor who's humble enough to keep growing with us."
That conversation happened on August 17, 2014, when Lighthouse Baptist Church called my wife, six-month-old daughter, and me to serve in rural Colorado. We packed everything we owned into a 10x10 shipping container—we didn't have much, but we knew God had called us to ministry.
A decade later, I'm more in love with pastoral ministry than when I began. Hundreds of people have been saved, baptized, and added to our church. There have been victories, but also significant challenges—disgruntled members, tragic deaths, and countless learning experiences. Honestly, I could probably tell you more about how not to do ministry than how to do it right.
But through it all, I'm grateful for the privilege. As Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 1:12: "And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry."
Here are the most important lessons God has taught me in these first ten years of pastoral ministry.
Personal Lessons: Guarding Your Inner Life
Pastoring will drain you personally. In the midst of ministering to others, it's easy to neglect your own spiritual and emotional needs. If your tank is empty, you won't have much to give to the people you're called to serve.
Keep Growing
"Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more." - 1 Thessalonians 4:1
About six months into pastoring, I had preached every message I'd ever written—Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night. They got it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I quickly realized how much I needed to keep growing.
Practical ways to keep growing:
- Set reading goals (I aim for 50 books annually)
- Listen to quality preaching and teaching
- Journal regularly—it helps you think and process differently
- Attend conferences and seminars
- Take classes to increase your education
You'll quickly fizzle out if you don't prioritize personal growth.
Strive for Balance
We've all heard stories of pastors who let things get out of balance—unfaithful marriages, wayward children, burned-out ministries. I don't want to be that story.
Setting proper priorities is crucial:
- Your time with the Lord
- Your wife
- Your children
- Your calling and ministry responsibilities
Every year, I identify the seven key roles God has given me and set goals for each one. Then I establish boundaries to protect what matters most.
Practical boundaries I've implemented:
- Minimal social media and email on my phone
- A gate on my driveway (temporarily) to protect family time
- Clear communication with church members about family priorities
As one author put it: "Your life is the byproduct of your lifestyle." You must determine what kind of life you want to live.
Take a Break
"Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 46:10
Every pastor should take a day off weekly, work out regularly, get adequate sleep, vacation annually, and develop hobbies. My hobby is hunting in the Colorado Rockies—it helps me stop working, stop worrying, and truly rest.
The word "Sabbath" means "to stop." We need to learn to stop working, stop worrying, and let our minds rest. It will help both you and your ministry.
Don't Neglect Relationships
"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour." - Ecclesiastes 4:9
God didn't create us to be alone. You need people, and people need you.
Essential relationships to maintain:
- Monthly calls with mentors and spiritual fathers
- Friendships within your congregation
- Extended family connections
- A close friend for your wife
Don't isolate yourself so much that you have no meaningful relationships.
Philosophical Lessons: Developing Your Ministry Framework
It wasn't until I became a pastor that I truly developed a philosophy of ministry. Everything I'd been taught was put to the test when I began actually shepherding a church. There was much I had to unlearn, but even more I had to learn for myself.
Be Slow to Change
When I arrived at an established church with 30 years of history, I immediately noticed things that needed changing. But I learned the hard way: you need to understand why something exists before you change it.
"Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." - 1 Thessalonians 5:21
Sometimes change is healthy and needed, but make sure God is motivating the change, not cultural pressure or personal preference. I always consult with mentors before making significant changes.
You Are the Primary Worship Leader
Whether or not you lead music, as pastor, you set the tone for worship in your church. Your congregation looks to you to understand what it means to be a worshiper.
Ways to lead worship as a pastor:
- Be involved in song selection for services
- Share thoughts or Scripture before songs to help people understand their meaning
- Sing with all your might and pour out your heart in worship
- Don't be afraid to raise your hands or give a hearty "amen"
"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together." - Psalm 34:3
Simplify
When I first became a pastor, my inclination was to schedule as many activities as possible. But I quickly learned: you can try to do too much in ministry.
D.L. Moody said it well: "Paul said this one thing I do, not these many things I dabble with."
The bigger our church became, the more important simplification became. I was getting so busy with scheduled activities that I had less time for the core things God called me to do—study, pray, visit with people, and reach new folks.
You really can do more with less. Consider how you can simplify your ministry to focus on what God has actually called you to accomplish.
Learn to Measure Growth the Right Way
Early in pastoring, I focused primarily on weekly attendance numbers. But that's only one metric, and it's shallow if we're talking about spiritual growth.
Our mission statement is "to make mature and multiply disciples of Christ." So we track growth horizontally across three areas:
- Make disciples - Sunday morning and evening attendance
- Mature disciples - Small group participation
- Multiply disciples - In-reach ministry and outreach/soul winning involvement
It would be unhealthy if Sunday morning attendance doubled but small group participation stayed flat, or if small groups grew but outreach remained stagnant. This helps us evaluate whether we're growing in a balanced way.
Develop Processes That Work for You
Don't become a slave to someone else's system. Find processes that help you accomplish your mission effectively.
Key areas where you need your own processes:
- Sermon preparation
- Service planning
- Ministry organization
- Evangelism strategies
What works in urban settings may need adjustment for rural contexts, and vice versa. The mission is what matters—find processes that help you accomplish it.
Pastoral Lessons: The Heart of Ministry
Being a pastor is by far my favorite part of ministry—shepherding God's people in the truest sense. I love being with our people and spending time with them.
Your Primary Task is to Preach and Pray
"But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word." - Acts 6:4
The single most important thing you can do each week is diligently prepare a biblical message for God's people.When you're caught in the cycle of "Saturday night specials," you know you're struggling.
Equally important is intercessory prayer. It's convicting how often people ask me to pray for them, and I realize later that I forgot. There's no better way to get to know your people than by praying for them.
If you're going to preach and pray effectively, you must schedule time for both.
People Work Comes Before Paperwork
Much of pastoring involves administration—budgets, processes, systems. But people must know they're more important than paperwork.
I keep my door open (except during study time) so people know they can walk in anytime. One pastor I know goes to a coffee shop twice weekly at set times so his congregation knows where to find him.
When your people say, "Pastor, I know you're busy," what they often mean is, "I know you don't have time for me." Make sure your actions communicate that people are your priority.
Watch the Doors of the Church
Every church has two doors: a front door (new people coming in) and a back door (people leaving).
Front door strategies:
- Be available to meet guests on Sunday mornings
- Invite new people to your home after services
- Develop hospitality ministries
Back door awareness:
- Notice when regular attenders are missing
- Call or text people as soon as you think of them
- Don't let people slip away without someone noticing
I follow the 80/20 rule: spend 80% of your time with core people and leaders, 20% with newcomers you're encouraging to get involved.
Don't Put Off Issues Because They Tend to Grow
Small issues become big issues if you don't address them promptly. When you refuse to deal with sin or contention in the body, it frustrates your people because the leader isn't doing what he should.
Deal with problems when they're small, not when they've grown into major crises.
Be There
Everyone needs a pastor who is there for them. Presence communicates care.
"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." - Romans 12:15
Be there for moments of crisis, joy, and sorrow. You don't always have to know what to say—most of the time, people won't remember your words, but they'll remember that you were there.
Often, crisis moments are when you actually become someone's pastor, when they finally allow you influence in their lives.
Administrative Lessons: Leading with Excellence
The title "bishop" means "overseer." "Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind." - 1 Peter 5:2
God expects pastors to administrate local church affairs well.
Take Responsibility
"Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." - Hebrews 13:17
Stop saying "our people won't do that" and start saying "I have not led them to." This shift puts responsibility where it belongs and helps you think about how to lead people toward growth.
Communicate Intentionally and Regularly
Nothing frustrates a team more than poor communication. When nobody knows what's going on, team members feel unimportant.
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" - Amos 3:3
Hold regular, meaningful meetings. Make them informational and helpful. Respect people's time by being prepared and purposeful.
Over-communicate and under-complicate.
Hire from Within When Possible, from Without if Necessary
This has been especially important in our rural context. When you hire from within:
- People are already passionate about what God is doing
- They're already planted in your community
- They're already allowing you to pastor them
- You know what you're getting
"And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also." - 2 Timothy 2:2
Hire Slow and Fire Fast
Be very slow and seek counsel before bringing someone onto your team. They must have "a good report of them which are without." - 1 Timothy 3:7
When problems arise, your first inclination is to pastor them, but the desire to reconcile a problem staff member can blind you to the need to address performance issues. Have a clear process for addressing problems, with steps toward restoration but firm boundaries if behavior doesn't change.
Building Lessons: Learning Through Experience
I'm currently in my first building program, so I feel like I've made more mistakes than successes. But here are key lessons learned:
Let God Make Clear the Time to Build
Use every possible alternative before starting a building program—multiple services, creative space usage, etc. Don't try to force it. God has to open the door before you can walk through it.
Involve Key People in the Process
Get godly, qualified men and women with expertise to help you through planning. Start with your key leaders, share the vision, ask them to pray, and get their feedback. This creates buy-in and provides wise counsel.
Expect Difficulty and Opposition
Building programs will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay. The opposition that comes is incredible—but maybe that means you're doing something right.
Develop a Strategy Your Church Can Take by Faith
Balance faith with facts. We practiced paying ourselves a "mortgage payment" for two years before committing to our building program. This helped us build reserves and test our capacity.
Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing
Don't emphasize the cost—emphasize the vision. Don't let your soul winning or mission be compromised by building details. Celebrate every victory along the way to maintain excitement and momentum.
The Most Important Lesson: Stay
The biggest lesson God has taught me in ten years is this: I need to stay.
There have been opportunities to leave, but God has called me to stay in "the middle of nowhere America"—and I love it. Some of you may need to hear this too. God has called you to bloom where you're planted, to invest long-term in the people and place He's given you.
Conclusion
These ten years have been a journey of constant learning and growth. I'm more passionate about pastoral ministry now than when I began, and I'm excited about what God has planned for the future.
Remember: You don't have to have everything figured out. You just need to be humble enough to keep growing with the people God has entrusted to your care. He'll teach you how to do it, and He'll guide you with His eye.
"I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." - Psalm 32:8
The privilege of pastoral ministry—seeing people saved, baptized, and growing in their faith—far outweighs the challenges. Keep learning, keep growing, and keep trusting God to develop you into the pastor He's called you to be.
