Charles was a man that I counseled several years ago. He was stressed and haunted by intrusive thoughts of his daughter being shot. Although he was not present for the traumatic ending of his daughter’s life, he constantly imagines those last terrifying moments. Strangely, he seems to cling to them despite their painful nature. Over and over, he replays the vision of what he believes his daughter experienced. The terror, helplessness, agony, and devastation of dying alone seem to trap him in a loop of what-ifs.
Trauma and the stress that can accompany it often keep an individual hyper-focused on the event, re-creating the trauma over and over, trying somehow to undo the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness through the negative ruminations. These pessimistic thoughts or expectations about oneself, others, or the world combine with distorted cognitions about the trauma’s cause or consequences, leading to a relentless focus of blame on self or others. All of this occurs on the battlefield of the mind. In our stress and suffering, we seek to gain control over the uncontrollable and power over the powerlessness. We think that if we worry and hypermentalize, that somehow this will make us feel better.
This agony of a stressful event is echoed throughout the Bible. Job lost his finances and his children and was rendered a broken man fighting a painful physical ailment. To manage the acuity of his pain, he initially wept and grieved with his friends. They rent their clothes and put dust on their heads, remaining silent together for seven days and seven nights. After that, Job ruminated aloud about his trials as he sought answers to why he was born and why God allows such sorrow. We know Job spent most of the book that bears his name battling with his friends about why he was chosen to endure such profound suffering. It isn’t until the book’s last few chapters that Job humbles himself and seeks the Lord’s perspective on his trials and pain.
Likewise, we know David was stressed, as is evidenced in the Psalms. David battled stress due to his guilt and shame over his sin with Bathsheba, as well as devastation over losing his son and being hunted by King Saul. For example, in Psalm 13:1–2, David repeats the question “how long” four times to the Lord as he struggles with issues about his fate:
Psalm 13:1 – How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
Psalm 13:2 – How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
His mind is clearly ruminating over what he cannot control. Yet at the end of the Psalm, he capitulates:
Psalm 13:5 – But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
Despite being plagued by unanswered whys, David chooses to trust God at His Word and rests in His mercy and salvation.
Even Jesus was stressed in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before His crucifixion, but He handled it perfectly. We know from Mark 14:34 that Jesus told His three close disciples to pray for Him as His:
Mark 14:34 – My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.
Jesus was agonizing about His impending arrest, torture, and crucifixion. He was so stressed that He even sweated blood as His flesh contemplated all He would endure. Although Jesus was obedient unto death, His humanness was under enormous stress.
While all these individuals struggled differently with suffering from a stressful event, each ultimately found comfort and solace in God. Unfortunately, instead of reaching out to God, we often spiral in our minds, seeking to understand and make sense of why we feel as we do, as if gaining insight somehow lessens the pain. We often seek to find someone to blame for our pain, as if finding justice somehow eases the pain. We frequently criticize and condemn ourselves for our pain, as if self-blame somehow lessens the pain. None of these distractions ultimately diminishes our suffering. In fact, the only answer is to cry out to God. Seeking to understand breeds a restless mind, and seeking God brings us peace.
We need to trust the One Who sees all, knows all. Remember:
Matthew 10:29 – Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
Matthew 10:30 – But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Matthew 10:31 – Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
God is omniscient. He is also love and loves us endlessly and beyond what we can imagine. We need to let God carry our burdens, our trauma, our stress, our pain. God knows the whys of the world and the whys of our pain. Knowing our limited capabilities, He usually protects us from those answers. What He gives us instead is His peace.
Philippians 4:7 – And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
However, how do we find God’s peace amid the voices in our heads and the sorrow in our hearts? We must meditate on God’s Word to find His peace. For example:
Psalm 119:15 – I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.
When we focus on the precepts of God and respect His ways, our thoughts will be rerouted from our distress to the presence of the Lord Almighty. His ways lead us to Him. We know from:
Psalm 34:17 – The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
These verses reassure us that God is close to us in our pain and is ready to deliver us; we need to cry out to Him for His comfort.
Little children run to their parents for comfort when stressed. They do not hypothesize about the whys of the situation. They do not ruminate over who is to blame or how they will tolerate the pain. They seek the love and reassurance from their parents that they cannot give themselves. Similarly, when we are stuck with a stressed mind, we, too, need to become like little children who run to our Heavenly Father for solace. As a small child cannot comprehend the intricacies of the situation, neither can we understand the complexities of life… but God can. He seeks for us to run to Him and rest in Him.
May you find the peace you seek in the Lord.
