Your bedroom isn’t cluttered; it’s “passage-restrictive.”
Kids don’t get in trouble anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.”
A student isn’t lazy. He’s “energetically declined.”
You’re not having a bad hair day; you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle syndrome.”
You’re not shy. You’re “conversationally selective.”
You don’t talk a lot. You’re just “abundantly verbal.”
Your homework isn’t missing; it’s just having an “out-of-notebook experience.”
You’re not sleeping in class; you’re “rationing consciousness.”
You don’t have smelly gym socks; you have “odor-retentive athletic footwear.”
You weren’t passing notes in class. You were “participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations.”
You’re not being sent to the principal’s office. You’re “going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.”