Signs You Ate Too Much for Thanksgiving

  • The doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
  • You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
  • Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
  • The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.
  • You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
  • You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
  • Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
  • You consider gluttony your patriotic duty.
  • Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

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