It’s only natural that stressed-out people eat more desserts, because “stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts.” If that’s true, there’s a lot of stress between Thanksgiving and New Year.
- The doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
- You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
- Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
- The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.
- You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
- You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
- Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
- You consider gluttony your patriotic duty.
“So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder that which I don't have.”—Helen Keller
“Giving thanks is not a matter of feeling thankful, it is a matter of obedience.”—Joni Erickson Tada (she is quadriplegic)
“The pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts—nevertheless, [they] set aside a day of thanksgiving.”—H. W. Westermeyer
“Gratitude is an offering precious in the sight of God, and it is one that the poorest of us can make and be not poorer but richer for having made it.”—Unknown
A man had a habit of grumbling at the food his wife placed before him at family meals. Then he would ask the blessing. One day after his usual combination complaint-prayer, his little girl asked, “Daddy, does God hear us when we pray?”
“Why, of course,” he replied. “He hears us every time we pray.”
She paused on this a moment, and asked, “Does He hear everything we say the rest of the time?”
A visiting farmer stopped at a city restaurant to eat lunch. When he was served his food he bowed his head and gave thanks to the Lord. Some teenagers sitting at a nearby table noticed the farmer’s prayer and shouted, “Hey, pops, back where you come from does everybody pray before they eat?”
Their laughter was silenced when the unmoved farmer answered, “No, the hogs don’t.”
In today’s politically correct environment where you have to be so careful to keep from offending anyone, we might all have to give reports like this fourth grader who reported on the origins of the Thanksgiving holiday. ”The pilgrims came here seeking freedom of you know what. When they landed, they gave thanks to you know Who. Because of them, we can worship each Sunday, you know where.”
Automatic dishwashers—they make it possible to get out of the kitchen before the family comes in for their after-dinner snacks.
Husbands who attack small repair jobs around the house. They usually make them big enough to call in professionals.
Children who put away their things and clean up after themselves. They’re such a joy you hate to see them go home to their own parents.
Gardening—it’s a relief to deal with dirt outside the house for a change.
Smoke alarms—they let you know when the turkey’s done.
The Baptist preacher Dr. George W. Truett accepted an invitation from a church to preach the dedication sermon for their new building. He arrived at the church about ten minutes before the service started, and was told that the church needed to raise $6,500 by the next day in order to finish paying for the building. The church officers told him that they were depending on him to raise the money.
Dr. Truett preached the sermon then said, “These men bid me to tell you that you must give $6,500 in cash, which is all due tomorrow. Will you provide it?”
Few Americans have had more setbacks than the Pilgrims who made seven times more graves than huts. They still set aside a day for giving thanks.
Source: Don’t Shoot the Horse, H. Randy Hayes
A young woman named Anne Steele had encountered one trial and disappointment after another. Her mother died when she was three, and when she was nineteen she suffered a severe hip injury that left her an invalid. Eventually she fell in love and was engaged to be married, but the day before the wedding her fiancé drowned.
Later Anne Steele penned the following song:
In the late 1800’s George Mueller operated an orphanage that at one time had 1,000 orphans. One morning there was no food to eat, but he called all the children and staff together and prayed thanking God for the provision of food, even though no food was on the table. A few moments later a baker knocked on the door. He told Mr. Muller that God had led him to bake bread the night before and give it to the orphanage. Before the bread was given to the children, a milkman knocked on the door. He said that his milk truck had broken down and he wanted to give the milk to the orphanage.
In 1860, the Lady Elgin was rammed by the Augusta and sank in Lake Michigan near Evanston, Illinois. A ministerial student named Edward Spencer waded again and again into the frigid waters to rescue passengers. In the process, his health was permanently damaged. Some years later at his funeral, it was noted that not one of the people he rescued ever thanked him.
Source: Disasters, Accidents, and Crises in American History, Ballard C. Campbell
On February 27, 1991, during the Desert Storm War, a woman by the name of Ruth Dillow received the worst call of her life. Her son, Clayton Carpenter, Private First Class, had stepped on a land mine and was dead. For the next three days she grieved. No one could comfort her.
On the third day after receiving the terrible news, the phone rang. On the other end of the phone there was a voice that said, “Mom, it’s me. I’m alive.” At first she thought it was a cruel joke, but as the conversation continued, she realized it was her son.
Even though I clutch my blankets and groan when the alarm rings each morning, thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are those who are deaf.
Even though I keep my eyes tightly closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you, Lord, that I can see. There are many who are blind.
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off the physical effort of rising, thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedfast.