Family

“For we are labourers together with God” –1 Corinthians 3:9

Somebody will rear your children. In fact, a number of somebodys will. One of the chief responsibilities of a parent is to recognize his God-given responsibility both to be that primary somebody and to screen who those other somebodys will be.

Teenagers are a delightful challenge—even to themselves! The teenage years can be full of fun and yet puzzling and frustrating all at the same time. There’s so much growth, change, and transition taking place in this move from childhood to adulthood.

“The little things become the BIG things.” Have you ever heard that quote? A few years ago, I emailed some of my friends and asked them what they remembered about their childhood. I have reproduced many of their answers below, and I hope that you notice the things they remembered really were the little things.

Next to my salvation and my relationship with God, nothing is more important to me than my relationship with my family. I am very blessed to have grown up in a healthy, spiritual family. My parents were saved before my birth, and early in my infancy they started attending a Bible preaching church. That Bible preaching and teaching helped them in their marriage and certainly helped them raise their children.

I recently read a survey asking this question: “What makes your family great?” Among all the different answers, the most common was, “The time we spend together.” You cannot develop family memories if you are not spending time together! Evaluate your schedule, allow some spontaneous activity every now and then, and delight in the simple joy of being together!

One of the most used phrases when making excuses for not doing something is, “I don’t have time.” That is never true. We all have the same amount of time. In this area we are all equal. We all have 24 hours every day and 60 minutes in each hour. We must learn to prioritize our time. When I say, “I don’t have time,” what I am really saying is, “This is not a high priority with me.”

For years, I’ve taught that we must take time to “come apart” (for replenishment) before we “come apart” (from overwhelmment). “And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.”—Mark 6:31

If you are a father with children at home, you are a blessed man. It seems just yesterday that I snapped the picture above. In reality, it was twenty years ago. When it comes to parenting, time flies. And I don’t regret a second of that fleeting time that I invested in my children.

I don’t remember that I thought too much about the word legacy—not in a personal sense, anyway—until my first grandchild was born. As parents, we’re so involved in the daily aspects of guiding our children, and we’re so committed to being there for them every step of the way, that we don’t think as much in terms of what legacy we leave for them after we are gone.

Have you looked around our country recently? America is in deep water morally. For the first time in our history there are more unmarried households than married, and divorce is a real problem in our world. More and more children are being reared in single parent homes. Too many children in our country are living without the guidance and direction of their fathers.

Maybe you have heard about the wife who said, “My husband and I have fussed for fifty years. I’m praying that God will take one of us to Heaven. And when God answers my prayer, I’m going to move in with my sister!” There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but God’s Word does command husbands and wives to love one another—in spite of our faults!

Homosexual advocates continue to make gains in their efforts to legalize same-sex relationships. President Obama has decided not to defend the federal Defense of Marriage Act in court. DOMA is the 1996 federal law signed by President Clinton that allows states to refuse to legally recognize same-sex marriage, including those marriages performed in other states. Without a federal DOMA, the “full faith and credit” clause of the United States Constitution would require every state to legally recognize gay marriages performed in another state.

I love reading to my grandson, TJ. His mom, Brandie, and I are frequent browsers at the nearby used bookstore. It even has Bible storybooks! I enjoy getting those for TJ and Ava, his younger sister. I also get them for the girls in our Bible college to use in their Sunday school classes and their Saturday Bible classes.

How will you be remembered? Perhaps that is not the correct first question—will you be remembered? I suppose each of us would like to think that our lives will have meaning and influence beyond our own days. Just what will we leave behind: money, debt, or both a physical and a spiritual inheritance?

Recently, on a Saturday morning, I went soulwinning with my three-year-old daughter, Annalene. As we knocked doors, she asked if her job could be to carry the tracts. After she managed carrying the tracts, she asked if she could ring the “ding bells” at each door.

Perhaps it was ingrained into our minds during elementary school, but there is something about summertime that seems to change people’s thinking. Even adults seem to develop a kind of “recess mentality” that focuses on self and lets responsibility slide.

A couple of years ago I was reading an interesting article from Time Magazine about the demise of the nuclear family. One of the things they attributed this cultural phenomenon to was the loss of the family dinner table.

Sometimes during my week I look forward to Friday—that is the day that I try to take off from work. It doesn’t always happen, but when it does I am excited to be home with my family to relax and enjoy them.

I believe it is the goal and desire of every Christian parent to raise children who will love the Lord, the church, and mom and dad. Certainly this is no easy task and requires much prayer, grace, and deliberate effort.