A sign in a bank lobby reads: “Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, male and female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.”
Male Procedure:
1. Drive up to the
cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into
machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
Female Procedure:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up
the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set
parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all
contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell the person on your cell
phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card
into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9.
Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary
with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash
required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash
and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash
inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in
back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20.
Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty
hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart
stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26.
Drive for two to three miles.
27. Release parking brake.