A Jew and a Christian were indulging in a
friendly argument about their respective faiths. “Most of the good things you
Christians have, you’ve taken from us,” the Jew said. “The Ten Commandments,
for instance.”
“I’ll admit we took the Ten Commandments from you,” answered the
Christian, “but you can’t say that we’ve kept them.”
A very nervous airline passenger began pacing
the terminal when bad weather delayed his flight. During his walk, he came across a life insurance machine. It offered $100,000 in the event
of an untimely death aboard his flight. The policy was just three dollars.
He
looked out the window at the threatening clouds and thought of his family at
home. For that price it was foolish not to buy, so he took out the coverage. He
then looked for a place to eat. Airports now carry a good variety of eateries
so he settled on his favorite, Chinese.
Some primary-aged children had “Show and Tell”
in their class. The first boy said, “My name is Benjamin, and I am Jewish and
this is the Star of David.” Next a little girl said, “My name is Mary, and I am
Roman Catholic and this is a rosary.” Finally a little boy came to the front
and said, “My name is Johnny, and I am a Baptist and this is a casserole.”
When John Adams, our second president, was living in Philadelphia he and Abigail
befriended a boy of African descent named James Prince. The local school refused to allow
him to attend. Mrs. Adams demanded that the boy be allowed to attend. She said,
“Is this the Christian principle of doing unto others as we would have others
do to us? I hope that we shall all go to Heaven together!”
George Mueller said: “I look upon it as a lost day when I have not had a good time over
the Word of God. Friends often say, ‘I have so much to do, so many people to
see, I cannot find time for Scripture study.’ Perhaps there are not many who
have more to do than I. For more than half a century I have never known one
day when I had not more business than I could get through. For 4 years I have
had annually about 30,000 letters, and most of these have passed through my own
hands.
A counseling center hotline used the following
voice mail message: “Thank you for calling. If you are obsessive-compulsive,
please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press
2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If
you are paranoid-delusional, remember that we know who you are. Even while you
have been holding, we have been tracing this call. If you are schizophrenic,
listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you
are manic-depressive, it really doesn’t matter which number you press.
A young attorney started his first
practice. He was ambitious and excited about how great his firm would soon be.
His phones had not yet been hooked up, but he quickly picked up the phone when
he heard footsteps toward his office.
Looking as dignified as possible,
the new attorney said, “Yes, this is Attorney Jones. I need to do depositions
tomorrow.” Then a man walked into his office.
After the dedication of his baby brother in
church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His
father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally the boy replied, “That
pastor said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay
with you guys!”
