Marriage

Last week my wife and I celebrated our forty-seventh anniversary as husband and wife. That is not as long as some, but a whole lot longer than many! They have been wonderfully blessed years, and I thank God for the wife and home He has given me.

As the leader of a couple’s class, new Christians will often ask me: “What are the main ingredients to having a happy marriage?”

On one of the most memorable road trips of our early marriage, Terrie and I were making the six-hour drive from our home in San Dimas, California, to her parents’ home in San Jose for a birthday party.

On August 9, 1975, I stood on the platform of the Bethlehem Baptist Church in Fairfax, Virginia, and waited for my bride-to-be to walk down the aisle.

We’ve all had ideas of what the ideal romance is. When you were younger, it may have been images of a knight in shining armor, bravely rescuing the princess.

Everyone knows that if you want to go on a great vacation, it’s not enough to simply choose your destination. You have to also plan the journey—how you will get there, where you will stay, what you will do…or your dream vacation may fall flat.

What did it feel like as you prepared to walk down the aisle on your wedding day? Were there butterflies in your stomach? Excitement like you didn’t know was possible? Once, I heard about a bride who was so nervous that she doubted she could make it to the front of the church.

Whether it is a struggle in our marriage, a trial, or weariness in the battle of everyday life, God has some awesome promises to keep us going if we fully rely on Him and His power in our lives.

Terrie will never let me forget our first couples retreat at Lancaster Baptist Church. Trying to save on cost, I rented a large house by a lake, rather than reserving hotel rooms. And I was such a rookie pastor that I literally had the men sleep on the first floor and the ladies on the second floor.

To train means “to narrow,” conveying the thought of marking a clear path for our children by removing the unnecessary and focusing on that of lasting value—setting biblical boundaries (Proverbs 13:6). Many parents unwisely encourage their children to experiment with various philosophies of life.

One of Terrie’s early, unspoken expectations of marriage was that I would help around the house. Shortly after we were married, we had invited company over for dinner. I noticed she was stressed with the preparations and offered to help. I was pleased with how delighted she was at my offer and silently congratulated myself on my sensitivity and kindness.

A marriage that endures through the decades is the result of God’s grace through two people who are committed to one another. Sometimes as I counsel couples, I’m reminded of how important it is when it comes to marriage to keep the basics in mind. If we forget the basic truths about biblical marriage, we easily make assumptions that, over time, undermine the marriage relationship.

An older woman was celebrating her golden wedding anniversary. Someone asked what her secret was to a long and happy marriage. She said, “On my wedding day, I decided to make a list of ten of my husband’s faults, which I would overlook for the sake . . .

The recent decision from the Supreme Court has raised many questions regarding the religious liberty of churches and Christians, including Christian businesses and schools, in America.

I’ve read 1 Peter 3:7 hundreds—if not thousands—of times. This verse is rich with marital counsel to husbands.

We are all aware of our need to communicate—it starts early in life. In order for a baby to communicate that he needs something, he will cry. It is amazing how effective a baby can be at communicating without words. After a while, we learn our first word, and then it isn’t long before we are talking a blue-streak.

No marriage is perfect. I think pretty much everybody gets that. How can it be? After all, it is the union of two imperfect people. Although we might do so reluctantly, I think each of us who are married can admit that we’ve been the bad marriage partner at some point or another.

You might be thinking it’s the word remote control. I guess that’s actually two words. And certainly a case could be made that the remote control is a major factor in the health of any marriage. In my opinion, watching successive episodes of any HGTV program is the visual equivalent of the sound of scratching fingernails on a chalkboard! Of course, I’m kidding…that is, about the remote control being the most important word, not the part about HGTV and the chalkboard.

One of the greatest dangers to any relationship—especially marriage—is fantastical expectations. Somewhere along the line, we buy into lies from the enemy of what marriage should be and what our spouses should give us. The predictable result of these unreasonable expectations is disappointment.

“Pastor, I love him, and he used to love me!” “I don’t know what happened; everything was going great, but now all of the sudden he is telling me that he does not love me anymore.” These are excerpts from two counseling sessions that I have had with two separate individuals in recent days.