Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?”
“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat.”
Several years after helping inventing radar, Sir Robert Watson Watt was caught in a radar trap and arrested for speeding. He wrote this poem:
Pity Sir Robert Watson Watt,
Strange target of his
radar plot,
And this, with others I could mention,
A victim of his own
invention.
A young boy in Korea was a houseboy for some American soldiers. Sometimes they thought it was funny to play harmless jokes on him. They would tease him. They would tie his shoe strings together. They would lock him out of the house.
Eventually they realized that their practical jokes were not viewed as funny by the boy so they apologized. He said, “That’s okay, I will stop spitting in your soup now.”
The story is told of a woman who was bitten by a mad dog. It looked as if she was going to die of rabies, so the doctor told her she should make her will. Taking her pen and paper she began to write; in fact she wrote and wrote. Finally the doctor said, “That is surely a long will you’re making.”
She snorted, “Will nothing! I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite!”
While checking his bags at the airport, a man became indignant with the employee who handled luggage. For several minutes he belittled the young man and criticized his every move. Surprisingly, the curbside porter didn’t seem troubled by this man’s verbal abuse. After the angry man entered the airport, a woman approached the luggage handler and asked, “How do you put up with such injustice?”
The young man said, “It’s easy. That guy’s going to New York, but I’m sending his bags to Brazil.”
In February of 2008, James Fantroy was convicted of stealing over $20,000 of government grants while he served as a City Council member in Dallas, Texas. Because Fantroy had kidney cancer and used a wheelchair, U.S. District Judge Ed Kinkeade told him he could choose between serving a month in prison or publicly apologizing for his actions. Fantroy chose to serve a prison sentence rather than apologize.
A truck driver stopped at a truck stop and ordered a cheeseburger. As he was ready to eat, a motorcycle gang pulled up. One of the gang members insulted him and ate his cheeseburger. The truck driver walked out out of the truck stop. A gang member said to the waitress, “He's not much of a man, is he?” She said, “He's not much of a driver either. He just backed his 18 wheeler over 6 motorcycles.”
The mother ran into the bedroom when she heard her seven-year-old son scream. She found his two-year-old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to the boy, "There, there, she didn't mean it. She doesn't know that it hurts." He nodded his acknowledgment, and she left the room. As she started down the hall the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened? The little boy replied, "She knows now."