Illustrations

An American Express survey about Christmas gifts found that fruitcake was chosen most often (31%) from a list of “worst” holiday gifts. It even finished ahead of “no gift at all.” When asked how to dispose of a bad gift, 30% of those surveyed said they would hide it in the closet, 21% would return it, and 19% would give it away.

Source: Unknown

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman.

“I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today,” she said.

“Are you lightheaded?” my colleague asked.

“No, I’m a brunette.”

Source: Pam Forst in Reader’s Digest

A mother and her four-year-old daughter were preparing to retire for the night. The child was afraid of the dark, and the mother, on this occasion alone with the child, felt fearful also. When the light was out, the child caught a glimpse of the moon outside the window. “Mother,” she asked, “is the moon God’s light?”

“Yes,” said the mother.

The next question was, “Will God put out His light and go to sleep?”

The mother replied, “No, my child, God never goes to sleep.”

“We do not need another committee. We have too many already. What we want is a man of sufficient stature to hold the allegiance of all people, and to lift us out of the economic morass into which we are sinking. Send us such a man and be he god or devil, we will receive him.”—Paul Henri Spaak, the first president of the UN General Assembly, first president of the European Parliament, and onetime secretary general of NATO

Source: What in the World Is Going On?, David Jeremiah

The Temple Institute, which has already built many of the vessels for the Temple, such as the ark and the menorah, has now embarked on a project to build the altar.

“Unfortunately, we cannot currently build the altar in its proper place, on the Temple Mount,” Temple Institute director Yehudah Glick said. “We are building an altar of the minimum possible size so that we will be able to transport it to the Temple when it is rebuilt."

Source: israelnationalnews.com, July, 2009

David Jeremiah in his book, “Escape the Coming Night”, suggested the headlines of the Antichrist’s death might read something like this:

“Assassin kills Judas Christopher, U.S. of Europe Mourns Loss of Leader

‘Christopher was pronounced dead on arrival at the International Hospital of Rome this morning. The motorcade of U.S.E. officials was traveling along Via Veneto when the president was hit in the temple by a single bullet. He slumped in his seat in full view of millions watching on interglobal satellite.

The story is told of two men who shared a hospital room. One man was by the window, and the other was by the hall. The man by the hall was angry because he wasn’t by the window. The man by the window would cheerfully relate to the other what he saw out the window. The angry man wished the other man would go home soon. Eventually the man by the window died, and the angry man was moved to the window, but when he looked out to see the view all he saw was another wall.

Some people see the good in everything, while others see only the bad.

Source: Unknown

A young mother and her little boy were driving down the street. The little boy asked, “Mommy, why do the idiots only come out when Daddy drives?”

Source: Unknown

When a rattlesnake is cornered, sometimes it becomes so angry that it bites itself. When a man harbors hatred or bitterness in his heart he is poisoning himself just like the rattlesnake that bites itself.

Source: Reader’s Digest, May 1985

For years Frank’s wife begged him to take her hunting. He put her off as long as he could; finally, he gave in. They went to a place where bucks were likely to be found. He placed her where she could get a good shot at any deer that came along, and he trudged through the underbrush to another location about a half-mile away. Before he could get into position he heard two shots. “Oh no!” he thought, “If she gets a deer before me I’ll never live it down.” Then he heard his wife screaming, “Now, step back.