Illustrations

The story is told about a CEO of a fortune 500 company who pulled into a service station to get gas.  He went inside to pay, and when he came out he noticed his wife was talking with the service station attendant. She had dated the attendant before she met her husband.

The CEO got in the car, and the two drove in silence. He was feeling pretty good about himself when he finally spoke: “I bet I know what you were thinking. I bet you were thinking you’re glad you married me, a Fortune 500 CEO, and not him, a service station attendant.”

Golfer, Arnold Palmer related, “It was the final hole of the 1961 Masters tournament, and I had a one-stroke lead and had just hit a very satisfying tee shot. I felt I was in pretty good shape. As I approached my ball, I saw an old friend standing at the edge of the gallery. He motioned me over, stuck out his hand and said, ‘Congratulations.’ I took his hand and shook it, but as soon as I did, I knew I had lost my focus. On my next two shots I hit the ball into a sand trap, then put it over the edge of the green. I missed a putt and lost the Masters.

After two weeks of Pre-K, Linda Wilbanks’ 5-year-old grandson came home with a mighty big compliment. Nick told his grandmother that he was the smartest kid in the class. With a deep sense of pride, Linda asked him if that was what his teacher said. Nick replied, “No ma’am. I had to tell her.”

Source: Mature Living, April, 2007

There is a lightbulb in Livermore, California that has burned almost continuously since 1901. The Livermore Power and Light Company gave the bulb to the Livermore Volunteer Fire Department over a century ago and it has been burning ever since with a few short interruptions. It has not been turned off since 1976.

Just as the Livermore bulb has burned faithfully, the Christian’s light should never go out because the world is watching us around the clock.

Source: Where in The World, Helen Lee

Matt Emmons had the gold medal in sight. He was one shot away from claiming victory in the 2004 Olympic 50-meter three-position rifle event. He didn’t even need a bull’s-eye to win. His final shot merely needed to be close to the center of the target. Normally, the shot he made would have received a score of 8.1, more than enough for a gold medal. But in what was described as “an extremely rare mistake in elite competition,” Emmons fired at the wrong target. Standing in lane two, he fired at the target in lane three. His score for a good shot at the wrong target? Zero.

After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger. “You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board,” said the minister.

“I know,” said the man, “but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, I’d like to meet him.”

Source: Unknown

An atheist was walking through the woods, admiring all the “accidents” that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him. He ran away as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw the grizzly was closing. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again, and the bear was even closer.

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. “Reverend,” said the young man, “I’m so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.” The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”

Source: Unknown

After church, where she had been taught about the rapture, a little girl was quizzing her mother. “Mommy, do you believe Jesus will come back?”

“Yes.”

“Could He come today?”

“Yes.”

“In a few minutes?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Mommy, would you comb my hair?”

The doctrine of the immanency of the rapture should motivate us to be ready for it.

Source: Unknown

“We understand, of course, that there are times the Bible uses figurative language. For example, Jesus is called the Lamb of God 28 times in the book of Revelation. This does not mean that He is a literal lamb. The term lamb, in reference to Christ, is intended to give us a symbolic picture of Christ as our atoning sacrifice. But the symbolic use of lamb does not eliminate the literal truth of Christ as our atoning sacrifice.”

Likewise, the use of language that is sometimes figurative in relation to the end times does not rob it of its literal meaning.