Teens

One of the keys to maintaining a positive and influential relationship with your teenager (or any other person for that matter) is to be aware of and address a wounded spirit. The Bible tells us that a wounded spirit is hard to bear, that strife can separate friends, and that offenses bring with them a hardness of heart. If an offense in our home occurs, just imagine all the damage that can be done.

Nurture speaks of tutoring, educating, and training. This kind of instruction includes mild rebukes and correction but does not respond in a fleshly manner.

The longer I serve in ministry, the more I recognize the value of working with young people. In fact, the longer I serve, the more I believe we should pour more of ourselves into serving our youth.

Just as there are loadbearing walls in a house, there are load-bearing pillars in effective student ministry. If you remove any one of these five pillars, it’s detrimental to your entire student ministry.

When it comes to responding to authority, everyone makes a choice. There is no middle ground. You will either submit to God and the authority He has established in your life, or you will rebel.

When I was a young boy in Northern California, the only time I wanted to go inside was dinnertime. All other hours, I wanted to be outside playing. Playtime for today’s young people, however, has transformed into screen time. The nature of community for twenty-first century children and teens has been radically changed.

I love rollercoasters! I love the high climbs and the fast descents. I love the feeling of the speed of the track as well as that feeling of nearly coming out of the seat! I could go over and over again. I love the loops and the corkscrews. The more wild the ride, the better! However, I have never enjoyed the “roller coaster” of youth ministry.

Seth Godin did a study about marketing to Generation Y—today’s teens. The study showed this generation is very selective about who they listen to and that they want to know why before they obey.

Have you ever experienced the frustration of wanting someone to change his spiritual direction more than the individual himself desired to change? Maybe it’s a junior higher in your youth group who just doesn’t know when to be serious, a senior high girl who craves all the wrong attention, or maybe it’s a teen who is just plain apathetic toward biblical truth.

Teenagers are a delightful challenge—even to themselves! The teenage years can be full of fun and yet puzzling and frustrating all at the same time. There’s so much growth, change, and transition taking place in this move from childhood to adulthood.

I recently read a news article about former NFL player, Tom Holloway, who had his house vandalized while he was out of town. It’s hard to comprehend how the consciences of over 300 high school students would allow them to break in, get drunk, steal memorabilia, and graffiti the walls, but that’s exactly what occurred in Tom Holloway’s home. It was one big, bad, out of control party…nice kids, huh?

It could certainly be said that the year after high school graduation marks the first part of one’s adult life. In fact, it is commonly stated at graduations that high school commencement is a threshold one crosses into adulthood. Based on the biblical principle of first things, it would certainly seem wise to dedicate at least this first year as a time for spiritual growth and grounding.

Not too long ago, I was in Phoenix to watch the Suns play the Lakers. Of course, I wore a Lakers jersey. They are my team, and I came to enjoy the game and show my support. A lot of other fans were wearing jerseys to the game, but hardly any of them were the purple and gold of the Lakers. I stood out, I was in enemy territory, but I was not about to hide my identity as a Lakers fan.

Some of the finest members of our church are young people who grew up in our church, attended our Christian school, and are serving as laymen and women in our ministry. They are in the will of God, doing the work of God, and will have a great reward from God when they get to Heaven.

In part one of this post we looked at six spiritual responses for parents when their teen or young adult is rejecting. To recap: 1. Love Christ unconditionally; 2. Love your child unconditionally; 3. Pray for wisdom; 4. Be sure your own walk is real; 5. Realize it is the nature of young people to question authority; 6. Remember to be thankful for the good benefits of your pastor and church.

We live in a day of much challenge and opportunity. The need for well-equipped, Spirit-filled servants of the Lord is great. The Apostle Paul trained the young pastor Timothy and instilled in him:

It’s a parent’s greatest fear—and if it actually happens, their greatest heartbreak—a wayward child. How do you respond during this crisis? Whether your child is a fifteen-year-old who is struggling or a twenty-two-year-old who is questioning their faith, it is vital that you navigate this season with wisdom and the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

I am uncomfortable with the expression that teenagers are the “church of tomorrow.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure well meaning people imply by those words that teenagers will one day be the adults that populate our churches and serve as leaders in our ministries.

In the multivariable equation of raising good teenagers, one of the things that will create a bond of affection between teen and parent is good memories.