Illustrations

1. The gleam from their foreheads makes them look angelic while preaching.

2. The last hairpiece the preacher had flew off while he was making a particularly forceful plea from the pulpit.

3. Youth Group—enough said!

4. Deacons—enough said!

5. The hoary head is a crown of glory, so they figured gray and bald was even better!

6. When they repent, they REPENT! (Isaiah 22:12)

7. The doctor said it was the worst case of head lice he had ever seen!

“You would think that because Joshua was a man of God, had successfully led the children of Israel against the Canaanites, and had been victorious, that the Israelites would tell him that he could pick out any spot he wanted in which to settle. But that is not what happened. The Israelites did not offer him the choice spots in which to settle. Joshua made his own choice. It was a place called Timnathserah. It was about eleven miles from Shiloh. It was a barren place, and one of the worst spots Joshua could have chosen.

A preacher gave an unusual sermon one day, and used a peanut to illustrate several things from the Bible. One of the members greeted him at the close of the service and said, “That was very interesting, Pastor. I never expected to learn so much from a nut.”

Source: Unknown

“Don’t be guilty of comparing your accomplishments or performances with those of any other preacher.  To do so is to lessen your own effectiveness and frustrate the grace of God.  You are you, and to attempt to become more is to become less.”—Dr. Raymond Barber

Source: Profile of a Preacher, Dr. Raymond Barber

The average pastor leaves a church over eight critics. When the pastor leaves, the problems stay. When the pastor stays, the problems leave.

Source: Unknown

The story is told that a man died and went to Heaven. He was met at the pearly gates by the apostle Peter who led him down the golden streets. They went past mansions after beautiful mansions until they came to the end of the street where they stopped in front of a shack.

The man asked Peter why he got a hut when there were so many mansions he could live in.

Peter replied, “I did the best I could with the money you sent us.”

Source: Unknown

If you are looking for an excuse, the devil has plenty of reasons for you to keep the tithe:

W.A. Criswell told about an ambitious young man who told his pastor he’d promised God a tithe of his income. They prayed for God to bless his career. At that time he was making $40.00 per week and tithing $4.00. In a few years his income increased, and he was tithing $500.00 per week. He called on the pastor to see if he could be released from his tithing promise for it was too costly now. The pastor replied, “I don’t see how you can be released from your promise, but we can ask God to reduce your income to $40.00 a week, then you’d have no problem tithing $4.00.”

A man once saw a bald eagle soaring in circles. The circles began to tighten and the man looked over to see a weasel. Suddenly the eagle dropped out of the sky like a jet and caught the weasel in its talons. Amazingly, as the eagle began to fly away the weasel began to eat away at the breast of that eagle. The man watched as the weasel tore away at that eagle, snapping bones, and chewing flesh. He watched the eagle fold up and crash and the weasel went on with his day.

Imagine you are half a million dollars in debt. Someone comes to you and writes out a check for $500,000, saying, “This is all for you, to cancel your debt. You don’t have to do anything but reach out and take it, and it’s yours.” So you take the money and pay your debt. You are now debt-free and totally in the clear.