Illustrations

After witnessing to a band of people that had murdered some foreigners, David Livingstone wrote: “I had more than ordinary pleasure in telling these murderers of the precious blood which cleanseth from all sin. I bless God that He has conferred on one so worthless the distinguished privilege and honour of being the first messenger of mercy that ever trod these regions.”

Source: The Personal Life of David Livingstone, William Garden Blaikie

When David Livingstone began his trek across Africa in 1852, he carried 73 books which together weighed 180 pounds. After he had gone 300 miles he had to throw away some of the books because it was not feasible to carry so much through the jungle. He continued throwing books away as he went further into the jungle. Eventually his library had shrunk to one book—the Bible—this he did not throw away.

The Bible is truly the most important book in the world, yet many read it as if it were the least important.

When Adoniram Judson was lying in a jail in Burma with thirty-two pounds of chains on his ankles which were tied to a bamboo pole, another prisoner asked, “Dr. Judson, what about the prospect of the conversion of the heathen?”

Judson replied, “The prospects are just as bright as the promises of God.”

Source: The Foreign Missionary, Arthur Judson Brown

One stormy night, Hudson Taylor was scheduled to speak in Birmingham, England, at the Severn Street schoolroom. His hostess attempted to dissuade him from going in the torrential downpour by telling him that everyone would assume it was canceled. “But was it not announced for tonight,” Hudson Taylor asked. He then said, “I must go, even if there is no one but the doorkeeper.”

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon reaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

A typical concert piano has over 240 strings that, when tuned and tightened, create a pull of 40,000 pounds on the frame. Without the tension, there would be no beautiful music.

Source: Unknown

Johann Sebastian Bach said, “All music should have no other end and aim than the glory of God and the soul’s refreshment; where this is not remembered there is no real music but only a devilish hub-bub.”

He headed all of his compositions: ”J. J.,” the initials for, ”Jesus Juva” which means “Jesus help me.”

He ended them “S.D.G.,” the initials for, “Soli Dei Gratia” which means “To God alone be the glory.”

Source: Light Steps, Timothy W. Bowes

Q: How do you get two piccolos to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one

Q: What’s the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q: How do you make a chain saw sound like an alto sax?
A: Add vibrato.

Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French Horn?
A: Put your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes.

Q: What’s the definition of a gentleman?
A: Someone who knows how to play the accordion and doesn’t.

The Weatherman’s Hymn—There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

The Contractor’s Hymn—The Church’s One Foundation

The Tailor’s Hymn—Holy, Holy, Holy

The Politician’s Hymn—Standing on the Promises

The Optometrist’s Hymn—Open My Eyes That I May See

The IRS Agent’s Hymn—I Surrender All

The Electrician’s Hymn—I Saw the Light

The Shopper’s Hymn—Sweet Bye and Bye

The Realtor’s Hymn—I’ve Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop

The Massage Therapist’s Hymn—He Touched Me

The Doctor’s Hymn—The Great Physician

1. Did I turn the pot roast before I left?

2. Did I turn the iron off before I left?

3. Will the person behind me ever hit the right note?

4.  90 minutes until kickoff.

5. Where are my car keys?

6. What are the chances of that chandelier falling and hitting me on the head?

7. How many people here have lost more hair than I have?

8. I wonder if there are any doughnuts left in the church kitchen from fellowship.

9. How many verses are we going to sing?

Source: Unknown