Illustrations

A school teacher was correcting papers, and as she looked at one little boy’s work, she was appalled with the results. She said, “I fail to understand how one person could make so many mistakes.”

The boy replied, “But it wasn’t just one person. My dad helped!”

Source: Unknown

Executives of a greeting-card company decided to do something special for Mother’s Day. They set up a table in a federal prison, inviting inmates to send a free card to their Mom. The lines were so long they had to to get more cards.

Due to the success of that event, they decided to do the same thing on Father’s Day, but this time, not one prisoner felt the need to send a card to his Dad. In fact, when asked about it, many had no idea who their fathers were.

Source: Bringing up Boys, James Dobson

“Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough, so they can have grandchildren that are smarter than anybody’s.”—Paul Harvey

Three boys in the schoolyard were bragging about who had the highest paid father:

The first boy said, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $100.”

The second boy said, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $1000.”

The third boy said, “My Dad is ever better than that. He scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes 6 or 8 men just to collect all the money!”

Source: Unknown

A young man applied for a job as a farmhand. When asked for his qualifications, he told the farmer about his previous experience then said, “I can sleep when the wind blows.” This puzzled the farmer, but he took a liking to the young man and hired him.

A mother was explaining, to her little girl, the death of her father. The mother said: “God has sent for your father and will send for us, but I do not know just when.” Finally, the little girl said: “If we do not know just when God is going to send for us, do you not think we had better pack up and get ready to go? God might send when we are not ready.”

Source: The Expositor and Current Anecdotes, Volume 8, F. M. Barton Publisher

Submitted by the homiletics class of West Coast Baptist College

“Between an airplane and every other form of locomotion and transportation there is one great contrast. The horse and wagon, the automobile, the bicycle, the locomotive, the speedboat, and the great battleship—all can come to a standstill without danger, and they can all reverse their engines, or their power, and go back.

As a schoolboy, I worked with my father during the summer months. Each morning we stopped to pick up the early edition of the newspaper at a small grocery store.

One morning when we got to work, my father found that by mistake he had taken two newspapers instead of one. He first thought of paying the man the extra price the next morning, but then after a moment’s consideration he said, “I had better go back with this paper. I don’t want the man at the store to think I’m dishonest.” He got in his car, drove back to the store, and returned the paper.

During the French war, a train carrying dispatches to the headquarters was compelled to go over sixty miles of very rough track, and reach its destination within an hour. The engineer was the bearer of the dispatches, and his wife and child were in the coach. Every moment threatened to pitch the train over the embankment or over a bridge, and, as it rolled from side to side, leaping at times almost in the air, rushing past stations, the few people inside held their breath and often cried out with terror as they sped along.

Ronald Reagan, told the following story: “I once addressed a very large, distinguished audience in Mexico City and sat down to rather scattered and unenthusiastic applause. And I was somewhat embarrassed, even more so when the next man who spoke, a representative of the Mexican government speaking in Spanish, which I don’t understand, was being interrupted virtually every other line with the most enthusiastic kind of applause.