Fathers

A young pastor in Ohio also worked at a feed processing plant in order to make ends meet. Each night when he went home, his boys would look at him and say, “Boy, Dad, you sure are dusty!”

He would grumble to himself, but then smile and say, “Yes, I sure am dusty.” One Saturday morning, as he was washing his car, he looked over and saw his oldest son, 4 years old at that time, begin to pick up small stones from the driveway and rub them onto his pants.

The father asked, “What are you doing?”

“I want to be dusty like you dad,” came the reply.

“The greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother.”—Unknown

In a story about some of the worst Mother’s Day gifts ever given, the Houston Chronicle repoted a story about Jerry Maltz giving his wife an iron. He got the message when she gave him an ironing board for Father’s Day.

Source: Houston Chronicle, May 7, 2013

Professional baseball has been played in America since 1875, but on September 14, 1990, something happened that has never happened before or since. Late in his career, Ken Griffey, Sr., who had been a key member of the World Series champion Cincinnati Reds years before, was signed by the Seattle Mariners. His son Ken Griffey, Jr. was just starting his major league career. In the first inning of a game against the Angels, Griffey, Sr. hit a home run to left center field. His son followed him to the plate and hit another home run to almost exactly the same spot.

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float?” The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, “How do fish breath underwater?” Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?” Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.”

Father’s Day is that one time of the year when I get complete obedience from every member of my family. I tell them not to spend a lot of money on me—and they don’t.

Source: Unknown

A little boy and his father were driving down a country road on a beautiful spring afternoon. Suddenly out of nowhere a bumblebee flew in the car window. Since the little boy was deathly allergic to bee stings he became petrified. His father quickly reached out, grabbed the bee, squeezed it in his hand, and then released it. But as soon as he let it go, the young son became frantic once again as it buzzed by the little boy.

The story is told about a little boy who had been invited to a friend’s birthday party. He was so excited and started counting the days until the party. But the morning of the party he was devastated when he found that a blizzard had struck their little town. The snow was falling in wet, heavy flakes, and the wind was howling. “I don’t think you should go to the party,” his father said. The little boy was so disappointed.

The story is told about the father of a vacationing family who came across a large sign that read, “Road Closed. Do Not Enter.” The man proceeded around the sign because he was confident it would save them time. His wife was resistant to the adventure, but there was no turning back for this persistent road warrior. After a few miles of successful navigation, he began to boast about his gift of discernment. His proud smile was quickly replaced with humble sweat when the road led to a washed-out bridge. He turned the car around and retraced his tracks to the main road.

The story is told of a young father-to-be who was pacing back and forth, nervously wringing his hands in the hospital waiting room while his wife was in labor. Finally, a nurse opened the door and said, “Well, sir, you have a little girl.”

He heaved a sigh of relief and said, “I’m glad it’s a girl. She’ll never have to go through the agony I’ve gone through tonight!”

Source: Unknown

A - Always trust them to God’s care
B - Bring them to church
C - Challenge them to high goals
D - Delight in their achievements
E - Exalt the Lord in their presence
F - Frown on evil
G - Give them love
H - Hear their problems
I - Ignore not their childish fears
J - Joyfully accept their apologies
K - Keep their confidence
L - Live a good example before them
M - Make them your friends
N - Never ignore their endless questions
O - Open your home to their visits

After bringing their first baby home from the hospital, the wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said. “I’ll do the next one.”

The next time the baby was wet, she asked if he was ready to learn how to change diapers. He gave her a puzzled look, then said finally, “I didn’t mean the next diaper; I meant the next baby!”

Source: Unknown

One little tike’s apparent misunderstanding of the term broken home prompted this admonition from his father: “I don’t care if the basement wall is cracking. Please stop telling everyone you come from a broken home.”

Source: Unknown

Charles Francis Adams, son of President John Quincy Adams and grandson of President John Adams, kept a diary. One day he entered: “Went fishing with my son today—a day wasted.”

His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: “Went fishing with my father—the most wonderful day of my life!” The father thought he was wasting time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time.

“By profession, I am a soldier, and take pride in that fact, but I am prouder, infinitely prouder, to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; a father only builds, never destroys.  The one has the potentialities of death; the other embodies creation of life; and while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me, not from the battle, but in the home repeating with him our simple, daily prayer, our Father Who art in Heaven.”—General Douglas MacArthur

Children go through four stages.  First they call you DaDa. Then they call you Daddy. As they mature they call you Dad. Finally they call you collect.

Source: Unknown

Three young fathers were in the waiting room. The first was told that his wife gave birth to twins. He was amazed and said, “I play ball for the Minnesota Twins.”

Later, the nurse came out and told the second man, “Congratulations, you are the father of triplets.” He said, “That is amazing! I work for 3M.”

The man next to him fainted. When he woke up they asked, “What’s wrong.” He said, “I work for 7Up.”

Source: Unknown

A school teacher was correcting papers, and as she looked at one little boy’s work, she was appalled with the results. She said, “I fail to understand how one person could make so many mistakes.”

The boy replied, “But it wasn’t just one person. My dad helped!”

Source: Unknown

Executives of a greeting-card company decided to do something special for Mother’s Day. They set up a table in a federal prison, inviting inmates to send a free card to their Mom. The lines were so long they had to to get more cards.

Due to the success of that event, they decided to do the same thing on Father’s Day, but this time, not one prisoner felt the need to send a card to his Dad. In fact, when asked about it, many had no idea who their fathers were.

Source: Bringing up Boys, James Dobson

“Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough, so they can have grandchildren that are smarter than anybody’s.”—Paul Harvey