Illustrations

A lady arranged the cremation of a body she believed was her son. He turned up alive the next day.

Greater Manchester Police said the confusion began when the body of a man in his 30s was discovered in Manchester, northwest England, on Oct. 12. He was identified as Thomas Dennison, 39, by a care worker who knew him. Officials contacted Dennison’s mother, Gina Partington, 58, who identified the dead man as her son.

Winston Churchill planned his funeral before he died. His wishes called for a bugler, positioned high in the dome of Saint Paul’s to play the taps after the benediction. The taps were meant to represent that his physical life was over. But then came the most dramatic turn: as soon as the taps was finished, another bugler, placed on the other side of the great dome, played the notes of reveille—It’s time to get up. It’s time to get up. It’s time to get up in the morning. At the end of history, the last note will not be taps; it will be reveille.

An anesthesiologist often plays an important role when a woman is going through labor. One woman was so grateful for her anesthesiologist’s help that she told him, “I’m so happy about how well everything went that I’m going to name my son after you. By the way, what is your first name?”

“Thorndike,” he said.

She paused for a minute, then said, “Do you have a middle name?”

Source: Unknown

1. The wonder of its formation—the way in which it grew is one of the mysteries of time.

2. The wonder of its unification—it is a library of 66 books, yet one book.

3. The wonder of its age—it is the most ancient of all books.

4. The wonder of its sale—it is the best-seller of all time.

5. The wonder of its interest—it is the only book in the world read by all classes of people.

6. The wonder of its language—it was written largely by uneducated men, yet it is the best book from a literary standpoint.

A Peanuts cartoon showed Charlie Brown bringing Snoopy his dinner on Thanksgiving Day. But it was just his usual dog food. Snoopy looked at his bowl and said, “This isn’t fair. The rest of the world today is eating turkey with all the trimmings, and all I get is dog food. Because I’m a dog, all I get is dog food.” He stared at his food for a while, and said, “I guess it could be worse. I could be a turkey.”

The Butterball Turkey Company set up a telephone hotline to answer consumer questions about preparing turkeys. One woman called to inquire about cooking a turkey that had been in the bottom of her freezer for 23 years. The Butterball representative told her the turkey would probably be safe to eat if the freezer had been kept below zero for the entire 23 years. But the Butterball representative warned her that even if the turkey was safe to eat, the flavor would probably have deteriorated to such a degree that she would not recommend eating it.

“We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.

On Thursday, November 27, 2003 President George W. Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq so that he could thank U.S. troops for defending the American people from danger. The President served Thanksgiving dinner to 600 soldiers. Speaking of the soldiers far from their home, he said, “It’s got to be lonely for them. I thought it was important to send that message, that we care for them.”  The visit was well received by the battle-worn soldiers, but it also surprised the President’s family, who were expecting him at his ranch in Texas.

In Family Circus, Billy is talking to his Grandmother. She encourages him to be grateful and says, “Always count your blessings.”  Billy replies, “But I’m not very good at arithmetic.” Thanksgiving is the time to improve in gratefulness.

Source: In Other Words

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they're dead.”

Source: Unknown