During Sunday school, the teacher asked her class of first-graders if anyone could describe a Christian. A little boy quickly raised his hand and stated, “Christians are nice people who never complain, argue, or talk back.” He then added, “My Daddy is a good Christian, but my Mommy isn’t.”
Children
A Sunday school teacher was endeavoring to impress upon a class of boys the importance of living the Christian life. “Why do people call me a Christian?” the man asked.
After a moment’s pause, one youngster said, “Maybe it’s because they don’t know you.”
Source: Unknown
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”—Rebecca, age 8
“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”—Billy, age 4
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs.”—Chrissie, age 6
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”—Terri, age 4
Charles Francis Adams, son of President John Quincy Adams and grandson of President John Adams, kept a diary. One day he entered: “Went fishing with my son today—a day wasted.”
His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: “Went fishing with my father—the most wonderful day of my life!” The father thought he was wasting time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time.
During a time of great drought, the Scottish preacher Dr. Guthrie prayed for rain in the morning service. As he went to church in the afternoon, his daughter, Mary, said, “Here is the umbrella, Papa.”
“What do we need it for,” he asked.
“You prayed for rain this morning, and don’t you expect God will send it?”
They carried the umbrella, and when they came home they were glad to take shelter under it from the drenching storm.
In 1978, Thomas Hansen of Boulder Colorado, sued his parents for $350,000 on grounds of “malpractice of parenting.” Mom and Dad had botched his upbringing so badly, he charged in his suit, that he would need years of costly psychiatric treatment.
Source: The Modesto Bee and News-Herald, April 28, 1978
Submitted by the homiletics class of West Coast Baptist College
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
Benjamin Spock led the way among child rearing professionals in instructing parents not to discipline their children. He said that doing so would damage children’s ego. Later in his life he realized that he had made a mistake and said:
A Sunday School teacher had just concluded her lesson and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She said, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness of sin?”
There was a short pause and then, from the back of the room, a small boy spoke up. “Sin,” he said.
Source: Unknown
Submitted by the homiletics class of West Coast Baptist College
In 1988, Anissa Ayala was sixteen years-old and diagnosed with a rare form of Leukemia. The doctors said that if she did not receive a bone marrow transplant after chemotherapy and radiation treatment she would die.
Neither her parents nor her brother was a match, and they could not find a donor elsewhere. Her parents, both in their forties, conceived another child and hoped that its bone marrow would be compatible with Anissa’s.
As the pastor introduced his children’s sermon on Easter, he asked the little ones, “Do you see anything different about our church today?”
Little Heather quickly figured out the difference and blurted out, “It’s full!”
Source: Illustration Digest, March/April 1994
Submitted by the homiletics class of West Coast Baptist College
Your bedroom isn’t cluttered; it’s “passage-restrictive.”
Kids don’t get in trouble anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.”
A student isn’t lazy. He’s “energetically declined.”
You’re not having a bad hair day; you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle syndrome.”
You’re not shy. You’re “conversationally selective.”
You don’t talk a lot. You’re just “abundantly verbal.”
Your homework isn’t missing; it’s just having an “out-of-notebook experience.”
You’re not sleeping in class; you’re “rationing consciousness.”
Below are letters that children have written to God.
Dear God:
“I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.”
“Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You keep the ones You already have?”
“Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That’s what my Mom did for me and my brother.”
The English poet Samuel Coleridge talked with a man who did not believe that children should be given any religious instruction at all.
This man claimed that the child’s mind should not be prejudiced in any direction, and when he became older he should be permitted to choose his religious opinions for himself.
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”
“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
Source: Unknown
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride wearing white?” Her mother said, “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life!”
The little girl thought about this for a minute, then asked, “Why is the groom wearing black?”
Source: Have You Heard the One About... Religion, Lucy Blackman
A little boy said to his mother, “Can I go outside and help Daddy put snow chains on the car? I know all the words.”
Always remember that those who come behind you are copying you.
Source: Unknown
The story is told of a boy named Patrick who asked repeatedly for a watch. His parents forbade him to talk about it anymore. At dinner he was asked to pray and he said, “Before I pray, I would like to quote Mark 13:37, ‘And what I say unto you, I say unto all, WATCH!’”
Source: Unknown
One little boy described his grandmother as someone who comes to visit and keeps your mother from spanking you.