Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, “Why is the bride wearing white?” Her mother said, “Because
white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her
life!”
The little girl thought about this for a minute, then asked,
“Why is the groom wearing black?”
Source: Have You Heard the One About... Religion, Lucy Blackman
Oh, I sure am happy to see you,” the little boy said to his grandmother on
his mother’s side. “Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious. ”What trick is that?” she asked.
“I heard him tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit,”
the little boy answered.
Randy was unsure about his choice of clothes for church so he sought some
counsel from his wife. He asked, “Do you think I should change?”
She took advantage of the opportunity and replied, “It depends—are you
talking about changing your shirt or making a wholesale change as a human
being?”
Married couples spend an average of 27.5 minutes
per week talking to each other, according to Ray Bridwhistell, speech
communication expert. However, they spend 46 hours per week watching TV.
Source: Family Life Today, June, 1989
Submitted by the homiletics class of West Coast Baptist College
Joni Erickson Tada had a terrible
accident that left her a quadriplegic. In spite of her physical limitations she became an
accomplished author and artist. Over 25 years ago she married her
husband, Ken. For her wedding she had planned to come down the center
aisle in her motorized wheel chair. Just before her grand entrance she
noticed two distressing problems. First, she had rolled over her
beautiful gown and made a big grease spot and tear in it. Then, the flowers
in her lap had slipped and had lodged between her leg and the
chair.
The story is told of a young man who entered a jewelry store with an engagement ring and told the jeweler he would like to have some names engraved on it. The jeweler asked, “What names do you
wish to have engraved in it?”
“From Henry to Clara,” the young man
whispered, red-faced.
The jeweler looked from the ring to the young man and smiled.
“Take my advice, young man, and have it engraved simply, ‘From Henry.’”
One man, while browsing in a Christian bookstore, discovered a shelf of “reduced price” items. Among the items was a
little figurine of a man and woman, their heads lovingly tilted toward one
another. “Happy 10th Anniversary,” read the inscription. It appeared to be in
perfect condition, yet its tag indicated “damaged.” Examining it more closely,
he found another tag underneath and chuckled—“Wife is coming unglued.”
Like a lot of married men, I got the “You just
don’t appreciate me” speech. I promised to treat her royally for the remainder of the day. I took her to lunch at Burger
King and Dairy Queen for dessert. She’s never mentioned it since.
A
husband was coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital.
His wife was sitting at his bedside, when his eyes fluttered open he said, “You are beautiful.” Flattered, the wife continued the vigil. Later
he woke up again and said, “You’re cute!”
First-grader Melanie had announced that she was
engaged to marry the young gentleman next door, but the engagement was broken
abruptly. When she was asked about it she said, “Well, he just isn’t ready for marriage
yet. And besides that, he scribbled in my coloring book.”
A woman returned home from a holiday shopping
spree with her arms loaded with packages. Her husband met her at the door and said,
“What did you buy? With prices as high as they are, I’ll bet you spent a
fortune. I hate to think what has happened to our nest egg.”
“I’ll tell you
what happened to our nest egg,” his wife said defensively as she began to put
her packages on the dining room table. “The old hen got tired of sitting on
it.”
