The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no recognized days for their religion as other religions did. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed.' ” The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling saying, “Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter, etc.
A Sunday school teacher asked each member of her class to write one sentence on “What Easter Means to Me.” One pupil wrote: “Egg salad sandwiches for the next two weeks!”
I heard of a man who attended church one week and become increasingly agitated with the message. On the way out he stopped to speak to the Pastor. He said, “You really have to do something about your sermons. You speak about the same topic every time I am here.” The preacher said, “You only come on Easter Sunday.”—Source Unknown
While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife, Grace, listened to the instructor: “It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.” He addressed the men: “Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?” Tom leaned over, touched Grace’s arm gently, and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?”
“Cash, check, or charge?” asked the salesclerk as the lady made her purchases. When she fumbled for her wallet, the clerk noticed a TV remote control in her purse. “So, do you always carry your TV remote around with you?” he asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could legally do to him.”
A young man came to his boss and asked for the day off to attend his grandmother's funeral. His boss said, “Sure.”
The next day the young man was talking to his boss. The boss said, “Do you believe in resurrection from the dead?”
Young man, “Yes.”
“Interesting, because after you left work yesterday, your grandmother came to visit you!”—Source Unknown
1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.
2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.
3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.
4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.
5. Of the remaining 33% of deaths, 32% occur in hospitals. Above all, avoid hospitals.
Frank wasn't known for his patience, and he had absolutely no use for negative conversation. When he got a call from his wife during a busy day at work, she talked slowly and didn't seem very upbeat. Frank interrupted her and exhorted her to be brief and positive. She paused for a moment and then cheerfully replied, "I discovered the airbags in our new BMW work great!"